And as she rises from the ashes...

1:32am: I'm bogan-esque...
I'm going to Metal For The Brain with Nat this weekend. Should be an experiance to say the least. Hahaha.

Still crappy over SK. Still just wishing i didn't love him as much as i do. Grr...

Went to see SinShifters on Saturday. Pretty damn Kick-ass i must say. Thanks also to the girlies who made my night pretty decent too. Stupid boys... I'm sick of them all!

***

Maybe change of plans about MFTB. Maybe.

***

Happy Halloween People! Yay dress ups for work. i love it.

9:18pm: I know it's been awhile AGAIN...
Pretty much all that has happened in the last month is that my boy and i broke up. I'm still pretty damn devastated. Seeing him next Friday... lets see what happens. I miss him SO DAMN MUCH...

Tomorrow i'm going to see a concust Lukey, watch crappy re-enactment, have dinner with Nat and then go to the Rochester with her to see her brothers band. On Sunday i'm MEANT to be eating at Crown, at that seafood place, but honestly depends on how i feel.

Hehehe... Lukey got kicked in the head by a girl.

Next weekend is Lee Rocker (from Stray Cats for those not in the know), on Friday, and Ez's B'day at Cherry/Ding Dong on Saturday. I might be up for absolutely nothing by Saturday though. Depends of course yet again.

I'm in turmoil.

Can't really sleep.

I really miss him... I miss him so much...

8:41pm: Upsy dasies...
My boobs look huge today... not sure why. Maybe i should be wearing a higher cut top to work, not that it matters too much with my lab coat and all.

After last weekend i got to contemplating and generally really needing to talk. See i had a series of panic attacks on Saturday night (not that it otherwise wasn't an absolutely brilliant night!), i have never had one before and it was kinda scary. I haven't really had anyone who can help me deal with it cause it stems from a time in my life when things were worse for wear, but when i think about it in my own head it seems as though nothing is wrong, like there is nothing to deal with. I mean i guess there isn't but a panic attack is not a normal reaction either.

****

Going out tonight with Miss A, not even sure where, i'm going to put it all in her hands. It's funny finding a female who actually wants to spend time with me, it hasn't happened for so long and i have been content with the fact.

****

I have to check out Beat Mag, i think Hell City Glamours are playing tomorrow night but their site says Friday 5th. Hmmm... i need a new t-shirt, the old one is long gone.

****

I need to clean my house so badly. It'll take most of tomorrow i bet. Ugh. Also depends on where i stay the night as to when i start. All to much to handle with this much sugar in me. Mmmm... sugar.

8:45pm: Whoa...
Been a fricken hectic last couple of weeks. My parents are away and i'm looking after the place (except for weekend, thats when Stu takes over).

Last friday after finally dying my hair (i hate it, it's not white enough), SK, Miss A and i went to go see Zombie Ghost Train. Very cool gig and i got my very 1st use of my $265 ear plugs. Worked the next morning after 1 1/2hrs sleep, went back to SK's, shopped and helped he and Miss A prepare for their house warming. And if i say so myself i did a decent catering effort, finally got to bed at 7am to be getting up after yet again less than 2hrs sleep. Crashed Sunday night.

Crappy uneventful week, where i was stupid and forgot to go to bed early to compensate for my 12hrs sleep over 4 days.

Friday had a fun/informative training day in the city. It was actually interesting. Got paid for it too! Then bought a dress from Peril (augh... overpriced).

Saturday bummed around, slept in, went shopping for supplies for that night, headed over to SK's (poor tired baby) and... wait for it... went to a Trivia Night hosted by my work. We had to pick a theme for our table, and as we were obviously not going to win, we thought we could at least get the theme prize. Thus our "2 kool for skool" theme won, we got alcohol, drunk ourselves brilliant and had a ball of a time.

We went to dv8 after, i'm in trouble from Dik (opps, i am so sorry!), saw someone i thought i'd rather forget, avoided street fights then went home and got hickie-fied. It was a fight to the death, and i lost horribly, the looks i got walking into work were hilarious.

Sunday was the most fantastic day of bumming around. I love rainy sunday arvo's.

At the moment i am extremely happy, and that includes the fact that i'm working till 2am, am sore all over, am bruised beyond belief and dropped my mobile in the bath today.

Opps... PS. My phone is not working. For any one needing to contact me either e-mail me or phone my home phone thanks.

6:20pm: Ugh... Sick...
I think the title says it all. it's really crap too, as i had an excellent weekend planned.

I'm working this Saturday and my darling boy is working on Sunday. It makes me sad. I haven't seen him for a week as it is. hehehe... he's sick too!

8:54pm: Heya....
It's been awhile and it'll be awhile more as i don't have time to do it now.

Got a promotion, been house-sitting, been kissing my beautiful boy, planning a possible overseas trip for (maybe) next year, recently partying after a decent time off, visiting a sick friend in hospital quite a bit, generally having a good time.

Will try and write later this week. But knowing me i wont.

Great seeing so many familiar faces on the weekend, what can i tell you... i'm a sucker for complements, so thanks all.

1:07pm: Hellooo out there...
Back from Brisbane... Thank fuck is all i can say. Ugh... it'll be more than awhile before i go back.

I'm on annual leave obviously. It's pretty decent.

Porno Pirate Party was fantastic. Going to Xchange for Brians was great. The Drag queens dragged me up on stage. Haha!

Yesterday i was pretty bummed for many reasons. SK asked me around late in the arvo, he's a sick little boy at the moment. And... he gave me a key to his house! Hehehehehehe! It made my entire everything seem better. As of last Saturday we have Known each other 6 months.

Going to see The Omen tomorrow with Av, Gareth and Space. 06/06/06... things can only go well.

I've been having really weird dreams. I had one about Phill in raver pants, it was incredibly vivid.

SK and i both woke up at 4:25am this morning, it was really, really odd, we had a conversation and went back to sleep. Both completely awake. I'm going shopping for housey things this arvo. Mmmm... housey things are cool.

Been doing heaps of shopping on leave... 4 pairs of pants, 2 jackets and numerous tops, i even bought a "good" dress. I did it cause i basically got the holiday paid for for me so i had all this excess money i thought i'd need but didn't.

Have been listening to Horror Pops, Necromantix, Batmobile and Sinshifters all morning. Hell YEAH!

Bye all...

11:05pm: Coooool............
I just got invited to a "Porno Pirates" party. Too cool for words...

11:33pm: Woman....
I'm working till 2am tonight (or tomorrow whatever way you put it). I'm trialing a new shift at work. Not too shabby at the moment i must say.

( A quizzy thingo )

8:44pm: Today i'm 23...
Weekend was Fucking Ace!

We got a free room upgade when we got to our hotel so we had this brilliant balcony with a beautiful view of the city. The room itself was great, massive, the staff were mega helpful and they had the softest sheets in the world.

Saturdat night was ok... bits that were not brilliant but generally fine, yes i cried, but yes, it also turned out decently enough.

I got my arse whipped in bowling on Sunday, we played 4 games, the total loss over 4 games was 125 pins. Ahh well... i suck, but its fun.

My face is sore from so much smiling, it hasn't had that good a work-out in ages.

I got told off on Sunday... "Grr... why when i look at something and go to talk about it you beat me to it? How do you know!?!" Hehehe... Everything is so in sync.

No one person has ever made me feel like this. Yay! Too bad it's 5 1/2 days till i see him next, stupid 4-midnight shift.

4:50pm: Okay.. so i'm lazy... are you surprised?
I haven't updated in awhile. I'm in one of my non-computer phases. I don't care are doubt if anyone else does either, hehehe.

Saturday is my birthday! I'm so old! SK and i are staying in the city at The Sebel for Saturday and Sunday nights, should be fun. I'm getting pretty excited.

Things are looking up, not just for me, not just for SK (which always makes me happy), but just generally... Got a pay rise (god knows why)... Saw Disturbed and Korn a couple of weeks ago, quite decent... Started getting B'day cards on Monday... Getting everyone together on Sat night at you-know-where, with some work people coming too... SK is talking about taking me away for a weekend... Going to Brisbane for a week in about 2 1/2 weeks, all i have to pay for is airfare, all else provided... Have 3 weeks annual leave coming up... I Have a man that the gay guy at work thinks is hot, and he's a superb cook... Yay... He's great and fantastic!

So yeah... last week was awful, am over it. Have bought Mothers' Day presents.

Hahaha... I kissed Dik! What a cack...

'Til i'm old people...

9:29pm: Ahh well...
I've been busy and not too keen on updating here. Prob will before the week is through though.

My lips are sore, too much kissing. Too much info i here you say. Ah well, like i am really bothered.

I bought SK a video/dvd player on Friday, he was stoked.

Today has been nice. Lets hope i don't end too late.

*Side note: the German is back.

7:37pm: A little time has passed...
Things are generally fine (aside from my parents arriving home, long story).

Ummm... A lot has happened, but nothing really interesting. Went to a 40th, was the youngest person there by 10 years, met Rick (hehe). Had SK stay at my house, visited Wayne with him. Ate duck.

Saw Suicide Girls, it was pretty damn cool, got a little too intoxicated.

Got a big talk up from the FEA engineers to my bosses at work. Worked WAY TOO MUCH overtime this week also.

***

Today has been really crappy, i don't want to be at work but i'm loath to go home. My only other option is god knows where. Hmmm... only darling Space might be able to save me.

5:39pm: Why hello anyone out there in la-la land...
Alot happened the past weekend, will mention a couple of things...

Thursday night- Went to SK's, Nick wasn't there to talk about my hair, so we just bummed around and went to bed too late (for a change of course).

Friday- Hectic day at work. Got back to SK's and cooked for him, we kind of ended up running a little late. He cracked it (not at me thank you very much), decided he'd stay home, by that stage i'd already promised AB a lift and although he said she could go fly i felt bad and she and i went to the Corner. Watched Speed Demons and Wild Turkey, some good music all up, got really tried. Took about an hour to leave, went home to the sleeping boy and am quite proud in the fact that i didn't wake him up.

Saturday- Had the day off, had forgotten stuff at home, trekked there, went shopping, came back to a work grumpy man, cooked for him again, and got ready to go out.

Conclusion of Saturday night... WOMEN ARE *MOST GENERALLY* INSECURE FUCKING MOLES!!!!

For fucks sake... Really it was frustrating, i kept on having girlfriends of my male friends (who i am not interested in) be real bitches to me all night, from refusing to talk to me, to pulling their boyfriends away, to shouting at me and them... GGGGRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!

All my old metal drinking boys have now got girls (some of them had prior and i have just never met them), and every time i would go and talk to one (half the time holding SK's hand) it was bad. SK was laughing at it, he had never seen so many girls act viciously for no reason against someone. Do you know what? all these chicks are the same anyway, kinda normal, almost always wearing jeans, mid-length mid-brown to blond hair (perfect from the recent hair dresser visit), tiny dark handbag, and the most common trait... the arm cross... if their boyfriend is talking to anyone they stand pretty damn close and cross their arms and glare. Fuck it again i say!

I have more but gotta head off back to work now. Opps, might finish later.

I am still pretty flustered from the weekend, just, fuck, crap, stupid Girlfriends. Grr. I'm still worked up, if i hadn't of been drinking so much someone would have been hurt. Grr. Augh. Grr.

3:59pm: Sea salt goodness...
Aeon Flux was cool... I am such a geek. Two individual yet associated statements.

Aeon Flux really was decent, a little bit sci-fi-y, which i love it for but can see why it did get bad reviews from non-sci-fi liking people. I'm not saying it makes my top movies for the year list but it was definitly worth a watch.

I'm a geek. But we all knew that didn't we? I'm getting more into sci-fi and generally not helping myself about this. The book i'm reading actually has a green alien with 6 eyes on it, it's a pretty crap book but i own it and am at least going to make the effort to read it. Reminder to self, go second hand book shopping SOON!

Watched Hellraiser 3 last night, i haven't seen any of the others but Space bought it out so i thought i'd give it a go, was convinced i'd leave before the end but stayed the full viewing.

I already have 2 doona's on my bed, is summer even over? Went doona browsing on the weekend, lucky i didn't get it cause when i was talking to Gin this morning (she's home sick), she told me she'd buy it for me, decent. Plus after being tired and grumpy and screaming in frustration at my stupid shower screen this morning it is supposedly FINALLY getting fixed this week, it's only taken 2 1/2 years, i'm not holding my breath.

5:08pm: Sleepy...
I'm still recovering from the weekend i guess.

Worked till 3:45am fri night/sat morning, grr, then till 12:20am Sat night/sun morning, went to Claire's 22nd, but by the time i got out, got changed and got SK's arse into gear it was 1:30 and dead. So we stayed half an hour annd made a timely exit.

Off to DV8 with nothing else to do, ran into lowslung, had him and SK ignore me, hmmmm, danced a bit, it was a bummer cause i was going to drink, leave my car at Claires and then taxi the rest of the night, but cause we left and i was still sober i kinda had to stay it the rest of the night.

Slept till Midday Saturday, watched Napolian Dynamite and went food shopping, i had planned to cook for SK, but after i had layed out all the food he kind of took over and made it all, not that i was complaining at all, he just apologised heaps after for taking over, i was saying sorry for not cooking and it was a "sorry" fest.

Helped AB with her uni assignment (god i can't believe i could do it that tipsy), slept.

****

Seeing Aeon Flux tonight with Space.

1:56pm: I'm actually back to taking pictures...
After a long long time...

( In black and white to hide everyones regrowth. )

That is all. Happy with these shots.

9:18pm: Hmmm...
I think my weekend was pretty even. As many good things happened as bad. Its a shame bad thing occur, but there is not much we can do to stop them.

****

Saturday i went to the beach with my Mum and Step-dad. It was actually really nice, and cooler than in the city, headed out in the waves for a good couple of hours, only coming in so i would not be burnt to a crisp. The tiniest tip of my nose got burnt as did the tops of my feet, those were owies.

Found out i had been invited to John's B'day thing at his house, would have been nice to have received more notice that it was on, meh, moving on... 'twas nice, Av being the highlight of the night, as well as my night in shining armour saving me from the deranged army dude, fuck he was psycho. Wish i had of got there earlier so i could have drunk more. Hmmm...

****

Sunday SK and i bludged the day away, got movies, watched Labyrinth, got heaps of booze, missed going out for dinner (a big grr for the night), went to the Arthouse (of course arriving OBSCENELY late), just missed Dik play, saw Bastard Squad and left after only about an hour and a half as we were both falling asleep (note: not from lack of decent music). AB was with us and we all went home together, me taking many a drunken picture, AB refususing to until "you two stop grossing me out" hehehe. it was all good till he sat down on the grass while AB were inside talking and passed out in the rain. It was not fun puting him to bed.

****

Monday is a fantastic day for a public holiday! Woke up reasonable early, watched Mean Machine, played with Cat-wa, went to John's again, played with children, got growled at by a jealous 9year old, got kissed by a sweet 4 year old and yet again missed dinner. We had 1 meal in two days, he is so not healthy it really worries me.

****

That night i had a very frank discussion, lots of hugging was involved and i am just ALOT happier because of it.

****

I'm so fricken tired. Working late shift this week.

5:26pm: Con the Fruiterer...
My mum has conned me into going to the beach on Saturday. It's meant to be 33 but hope to hell it's colder and the waves are decent. Hey at least i know the 2nd half will be true, my family doesn't go to any beach unless the waves are good.

I can see me now on Saturday night dancing it up and having sand fly everywhere. I guess i'll head to DV8, that is unless Sunday is going to be huge, maybe a quite one, maybe Moomba.

***

I actually really truly have a three day weekend coming up. How am i going to cope? 3 days in a row of not working. I can't even remember the last time it happened.

***

I wish SK had Saturday off so he could come swimming. Actually maybe not. I don't think it's best for my parents to see the tatt on his leg. However striking and beautiful it is it's actually damn politically incorrect (Grr). I don't think he goes swimming anymore because of the fact, ahhh.... he's a surfer from way back too, would be very cool to see.

***

Going to Zombie Ghost Train tonight at The Tote. Yay. Deciding whether to drink or not is an issue as one of us has to drive. Both alternatives suck, unless of course we both don't drink... what am i thinking that sucks too. hehehe.

***

I have such an excellent deviant plan for this weekend. Mwah Ha Ha... Lets see how it pans out.

6:51pm: Achilles...
I have rooted my achilles tendon, it's not too bad at the moment but is an absolute HORROR to drive a manual car with (i'm not complaining about manuals, they rock, just the ankle).

Space gave me a book which i have just started reading, "Only Forward" by Michael Marshall Smith, it is really good, i haven't read anything by him before, but am already 1/4 of the way through it. An enjoyable early birthday present.

You know i think i miss SK the most just before i'm going to see him. I end at 9pm and will head straight to his, but right now i'm here trying to distract myself and not call him, but wanting to anyway. Grr. 2 hours left. At least his house is alot closer to work than mine, if my foot cains again after driving there i'll just stay the night, if its bad enough i'll call in sick tomorrow. There is no point driving a 45mins to work if i'm going to be in agony. Stupid stupid.

5:39pm: *Sighs*
The Germans are gone. What eye candy do i have at work now? Grr...

Drinking water sucks. But i guess it must be consumed anyway.

6:53pm: My hair has gone orange...
and i really don't care. It's changing soon (hopefully), well in the next month or so anyway.

Weekend was really decent. Correction... was really decent aside from when it was crap. SK and AB aren't really speaking at the moment. So i'm there in the middle of the house taking questions from one about the other and generally trying to be a tiny mouse.

On Friday i was actually really apprehensive about going to SK because for some reason or another he said i really should call this specific day before i came over. i left my phone at home and kept on fucking up his number. I got there to very nice comments about where i had been and why wasn't i answering my phone, that he was worried, it was sweet. We had pizza, watched Tom and Jerry cartoons then i left him to sleep.

Saturday i worked, not awful must i say, better than previous Saturdays because i was certain what i was doing that night. Got To SK's, bummed around, started getting ready to go out (really damn late as usual), AB had headed out, changed her mind and came back in, but when she saw me getting ready she started to get changed again. Then it gets stupid, because SK hadn't started to get ready she thought he wasn't coming, when he was almost ready he changed his mind because in his opinion we were going out to get away from her. So she and i went out to DV8, arrived at 2ish, left at 4:30ish, saw Dale and PJ, Danced a little but mostly felt tired (i had decided to stop drinking and drive us there). Went home to man and slept.

Sunday had a breakfast of Fresh fish and salad in bed (i thought it was an odd choice, but yummy), helped Space move some stuff from Gareths, it was funny seeing SK and him mingle. Funny but nice. Went shopping, watched Toy Soldiers, had Kebabs on Brunswick st for dinner and had a really nice long evening.

May all my weekends end so pleasantly.

Thursday should be fun.

4:09pm: Stolen from Glenn,

You Are 74% Evil

You are very evil. And you're too evil to care. Those who love you probably also fear you. A lot.

You Are The Devil

You don't represent evil, but you do represent the animalistic side of humans. You demonstrate what happens when we listen to our first instincts. At times you tend to be materialistic and hedonistic, giving in to temptation. Admit it, you're guilty of acting first - and forgetting to think later! Your fortune: Right now, you may be having a difficult time as a result of choices you have made. You need to think about what's important in your life, and discover what chains you down. It is the time to acknowledge your faults and take steps to overcome them. It's also the time to let go of any fears or inhibitions that are holding you back.

What a waste of time, but it's done now.

4:04pm: Blug...
I feel so fricken sick i want to go home. But still have 5 hours at work left. NNNOOOO.... Plus i'm seeing Space tonight to watch Devil's Rejects and if i fob him off he'll get mad at me. Well not really mad, but the last time we were ment to do something was Valentines Day, i think we all know how awful my day was, thus i didn't see him.

Grrr... Awful grossness feeling. I need more tablets. Just ran out then.

Been speaking to the other Luke a bit recently too, quite interesting, hey at least he's awake when i'm getting home at stupid hours. What a gun.

Ah well off to complain bitterly and slink around in a corner somewhere. Like i ever do anything different, hehe.

Bye.

7:00pm: Coke gives the the energy i need to finish work...
I feel like i'm about to collapse from sheer tiredness. I don't really know why its as bad as it seems to be. But i did wake up to Cat-Cat miowing to show me the lovely mouse she had caught and then playing with it and throwing it on my clothes. I went to go get something to pick up the mouse with (it was very clearly dead) and when i got back it was gone. I think she ate it.

It seems i insight death into tiny creatures. Everytime i'm over at SK's she kills things and brings them inside or miows on the porch till someone comes out to see her conquest. The last 5 times i have spent the day/night there there have been 5 kills. Nice, eh?

***

Had the best hot chips i have ever had last night. At the Empress. We went for a pub meal with absolutely fantastic people, i can honestly say i'm not a chip person, i avoid them, but after even a taste of these i vowed to go back.

Met Miss Av, will be doing her hair soon, met Flea, she was really gorgeous, had a few drinks, had really really good conversation, the kind that makes you argue, laugh and think, i was just great, i just can't even remember when i last had conversation that good.

I started to get really tired after awhile after such a long day, we were standing at the bar. I told Sk "i'm going to say... lets leave now cause i know it will take you 2 hours to say goodbye and for us to actually be out the door", his reply was "don't be ridiculous, we'll leave in about 15". This was at about 9pm... We left at 10:45. Him "oh sorry that took so long, it wasn't ment to", Me "what are you talking about, we are actaully leaving 15mins before i thought we would". Him "God i'm hopeless". Me "But i already know that and don't care". Him "at least there's that".

By the way this early dinner was actually a late brunch, it took him 5 hours to get ready, dye hair and such.

To a nice weekend.